Tag Archive: …a continuing discussion…


Guns and Roses on Graves


SorrowThe personal sense of loss as parents hold their lifeless children in their arms is incomprehensible, unfathomable for anyone who has not experienced such tragedy. We may never fully  understand the reasons for what happened in that small town in Connecticut. We will, in time, be given information and facts but it will never add up in our heads or in our hearts. Nor will we shake the terrible fears that will arise because of event. A nestled school in a safe neighborhood is a terrible reminder that none of us are safe from violence. As President Obama said, there are 20 very young children who will never have another birthday, experience a graduation, marriage or have children of their own. The roses they might have received along the way to celebrate these momentous life events will instead rest upon their graves.

Gun control is must be revisited seriously by our legislators. The resistance against it is hard to understand or comprehend in the face of the rising incidents of random violence perpetrated against defenseless and unprotected citizens in our country. It is time for those who do not advocate for better and tighter gun controls to face the fact that guns kill. And guns in the hands of the wrong person are killing our children and loved ones.

Given all the facts, and acknowledging the need for gun control, there is a greater truth to confront:  that the rising violence in our country is a symptom of a far greater and more complex problem.

Until we as human beings can stop judging others by vilifying them for their differences whether those differences are of color, of sexual orientation, political loyalties, religious affiliations, economic status, liberal or conservative choice; until we can stop buying in to conspiracy theories and false propaganda; until we can re-engage our children by turning off the television or putting down our cell phones or taking time out of our “busy” schedules and sit down and have a meal together; until we can make who we are more important than what we do; until we can instill discipline and not punishment; until we can hold each other accountable, especially our children, and redirect them toward what is important instead of making them small for making mistakes; until we can stop hating …until then, we will live this nightmare. Marianne Williamson said it so simply, “This is not a gun problem, this is a parenting problem.”

The world is teaching all of us, every single day, the damaging effect of individual prejudice and self-imposed ignorance. Prejudice is just another way of being “right” and making others “wrong.” We all need to pay attention to the Great Teacher of Experience – this is not someone else’s problem. This is personal. Transformation begins with each one of us. Whatever authorities discover beneath the tragedy of the Connecticut massacre will not bring us peace. The only way peace will come is when each person puts away their own virtual gun and chooses kindness toward all. The Prince of Peace, whose birthday we celebrate, asked us to do that…to love our neighbor in spite of his or her differences. Yes, be an advocate for gun control. More importantly, be an advocate for tolerance and peace toward all. It’s time to put a stop to the madness.

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I always wonder who is thinking for me…who is the puppeteer behind that conversation I just had?

You may know have the same conversations; it’s when I hear myself saying something that contradicts my core but I keep talking anyway. Hindsight always asks me: Was that my mother, father, aunt, uncle, distant 4th cousin’s voice? Or was it a fear born one day when my heart was breaking?

Then I wonder if it is the media advertisement campaigns or early influences from my peers. Sometimes I feel like a hijacked airplane, being taken off course in a direction I never wanted to go.We all know that voice that creeps up and takes over our brain. It is not the voice of discernment or wisdom that reacts; it is the voice of fear and confusion. It is so easy to default to that state of mind.

I am learning that my core authentic voice cries to be heard in the silent moments I spend with my thoughts. We all keep it quiet (even smothered) when we allow the outer world to give us our voice. We become blindly conditioned.It takes conscious awareness to peel those layers away so we can find our true authentic voice.

It takes authentic courage to face down those embarrassing moments have been a humbling experience, often achingly so.

Once I learned to lick my wounds and soothe my aching soul, somewhere in that darkness I found wisdom. Not the kind of false wisdom that dismisses another person that minimizes my responsibility in the event. But rather the kind of wisdom that wakes me up and keeps me aware so I dodge that dark alley in the future.

Like layers of contact paper piled one upon another, it takes time to peel away that which smothers our authentic voice. I remember hearing a teacher suggest that instead of being against war, to be for peace; instead of warring against drugs, be for freedom from that comes from self-care; instead of being at war with our spouse, our neighbor, our family, be compassionate toward their humanness.

The real truth is that the outside world only tells us how we are thinking. I am quite certain that the world outside of me can only change as I give my authenticity a chance to speak. Perhaps that is the gift that our fear and limitations leave at the doorstep of our hearts. Sometimes those gifts collect dust, never being opened. But each gift is our call to personal freedom.

Great inner wealth is found than when we discover the freedom sparked from a deeper sense of knowing. I wish everyone the opportunity to open those gifts, gifts that meant for you and you alone.

I really wish for your authentic voice its own melody…I do believe that we CAN learn to sing in perfect harmony!